It has been a really long time since I wrote on this blog. The reason was that I stopped caring about it. Stopped making goals. Reached goals I had already made for this blog. And, I just didn’t write. I don’t think there is a need for an explanation. Why would it matter that I write on this blog regularly or even at all? I will write when I feel like it. I must say that I did post the creative part of my writing on Medium. I feel like it is the right website for such purposes. But, this. This is a personal blog. This mainly contains my thoughts, my experiences, my love for movies and anything that is mostly real. On Medium – it is a different world.
Today, I feel like talking to the journal I have online. I don’t have much in my mind. But, I am sure it will have some meaning to it because I don’t have any intentions of believing in the fact that not everything has got a meaning to it. What a lack of words and simplicity! Back to why we are here. Why don’t we talk about the trip I came back from yesterday?
Yes! I had been to Ashwem, Goa. We stayed at Felix Britto’s house. It is an Airbnb. A really good one. The beach was right next to the house. So, the view was never really a problem. Felix was a great host. Even the dogs helped us out by guarding us all the time.
I had many questions before the trip, during the trip, and after the trip. And, even now, I have many questions. I never stop asking questions. Maybe not out loudly. But, to myself, the world, the spirits, the sea, the trees, the clouds, the sand and just everything not human. Sometimes, even humans. Sometimes. In school, the teacher would never forget to mention it to whoever came to the Parent’s Meet that I asked many questions, and that it bothered the class. But, I didn’t think so. It bothered the teacher. I knew it was the main reason behind the complaint. How is that even valid to be a complaint? What is wrong in asking questions? I will never know. Because, I don’t think it is wrong at all. I ask many questions because I don’t expect the answer desperately. I am going to be fine even if you don’t answer. I will just understand that you don’t know or that you don’t want to answer. And, that is just fine.
Not everything needs closure or a conclusion. This is something I have always believed in. Or, mostly just from recent past years. Before that, I did not have the ability to worry or think of what I believed in. I am comfortable being left with a blank page. I will write on it myself. I do have the power to do that, don’t I? I just need the pen and the will to write on it. And, I will write on it because I don’t have any problem with scratches on the page.
I will not forget the past and my dreams for the future, because, I am in sync with the present. It gives me joy to be in the present. It is the best place and time to be at. And, it is all I have got. The moment right now is all I have got. I will not even try to make it better. That way, it is already the best moment I can ever have.
Past few months or even years, have been very kind to me. It has been all about being progressive, happy and all that positive shit. I am glad it happened the way it did. I have realised that being what I was as a child is the best way to live. But, I also know that growing with the mind is equally important.
I like black coffee.
By the way, I turned 21. It feels like a number way greater than 20.