Commitment

We have failed, here in India, in committing to the COVID-19 guidelines. With 3.14 lakh (0.3 million) cases on this day, India has recorded the highest spike in number of cases worldwide. So many deaths, and yet so little of air to breathe for the rest of us. These numbers are not good. Not good at all when compared to countries like Australia.

However, this is just my opinion – that we have failed. And, by we, I mean – mostly me. I don’t know what happened after January this year, but apart from maintaining the regular wear of mask I haven’t followed much of what needed to followed to get rid of this virus. Its almost as if I forgot it even existed.

Reasons like: It’s not my responsibility to take care of the country’s healthcare are just stupid to be valid of a reason for letting go of your guard against the virus. I’ve been stupid enough of times in my life. But, when you think of it – this one seems more obvious to me as it’s more apparently physical in terms of the effects. Deaths. Prolonged illness. Mental health issues. Loss in productivity. You name it.


Last year, I could see no one better than me at following through every guideline mentioned by WHO and the Indian government. Least to say, I overdid it. It made me feel like I was achieving something for the greater good. And, the second wave would’ve happened no matter what I did – just the way it happened. We are now facing a storm and our ship’s pretty much broken into pieces of wilder shapes and forms.

Face it – Indians are having a tough time. But, this does not mean you let yourself panic.

Because, hey – what are you going to do about it? I definitely won’t be scared and give in to the panic that’s surrounding. Because, this time I am prepared to face what’s to come (or, what is already here, should I say) for worse or better.

There’s only one rule to this game for a player of my sorts – twenty-two years old intern at a company that lets you work from home – and it’s this: don’t go out if you don’t have to.

And, to the home that is mine, I am thankful.


To my fellow Indians reading this: don’t you worry, we got this. It’s good to know that it all ends one day. Look on the brighter side, or make one if it’s not visible right now. Trust me, we are on the same boat and we will sail through.

I hope you’re doing safe and healthy. I wish you more happiness, take all that’s for sale.

If you need help of any sorts, please come in contact with me by clicking here. We’ll see what we can do and be rest assured that I will try my best.

Take care and be awesome!

Blur

Meaning: something vaguely or indistinctly perceived

Yesterday, while I was trying to sleep (which happens a lot these days, without any clear reason) – I was contemplating, or doing something of that sort. As I was thinking, it became very clear to me that this life (right now) is not very clear to me. I don’t know what I’m doing for the most part of my life – although, I know that I’m tending to sleep more during the day, find random tasks from my internship to do, learn data structures, read my current book – and yet, I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.

This is because of my past. It haunts me every night. All the mistakes I have done so far and how regretting them is an on-going part of my life. Good to know that it’s normal for humans to commit mistakes, otherwise, I don’t know how we’d survive at all. The solutions to these regrets, however, are a blurry set of images that never seem to reveal what they truly mean.

Say, for example, if meditation is one of the solutions. I know that meditation will bring me a happier life. But, what if I don’t know what to expect from a happier life? Maybe I am just overthinking right now, but don’t you ever feel like an imperfect piece in this puzzle called life? Tell me, do you?

I end these thoughts with a blurry dream – which brings me sleep. And, all I care about – as you could guess – is a good night’s sleep.

Absorb

Today, I have taken inspiration from one of the writers I know. He’s a professor at the university I study at. It is still taking some time to adjust to being a worker and a student at the same time, now that I’m an intern – I know that my college life will be missed, but not really. If you were to ask me “Would you swap your college with work?” I’d take some time and say “I don’t know” because I couldn’t care less. I love working and I love learning.

So, what’s the inspiration?

To take up the A-Z challenge. Yes, taking a letter and a word on it – to write. And, for the first day and the first letter ‘A’, I have chosen the word ‘absorb’. Why? It was better than the other words generated on this website (internet really does have a lot of tools) for worse or better.

Let’s begin, and see where this challenge takes us.


Absorb

absorb/əbˈzɔːb,əbˈsɔːb/ verb: take in or soak up (energy or a liquid or other substance) by chemical or physical action.”buildings can be designed to absorb and retain heat”

This world is a funny place that puts up a show of horror now and then. And, it’s a show indeed that we all have to take in. I found this observation closely due to the practice of meditation I’ve been following. All you do is sit there and take in all (or nothing) without attaching any kind of judgement to it. There really is no need to judge yourself for taking that extra piece of pizza while you’re on diet. You wanted it, and you had it. That’s it. You’ll know what to do next time. And, if you don’t – well – keep trying, right?

So, what do you absorb from this world?

That’s a question so hard to ask and even answer that I’ll try giving it a shot. Here’s what comes to my mind when I think about what I absorb from this world. There’s just too much around me to cope up with. So, I end absorbing nearly nothing useful or even close to being some sort of potion. And, here’s why it’s a tough one. Given the age of internet, the age of information – there is literally countless quantity of knowledge to fathom and let alone absorb.

What if even today the only source of knowledge were books? That’d be a cool thing perhaps if you like to complaint about what the future beholds. It’d be easier to only take in what we can handle. We’d only read what we like unlike now where everything is just shoved right up to your face on the internet. Like this blog.

So, here’s what I absorb – nothing. And by nothing, I mean nothing. I’ll let the stars and my flow decide what to absorb and let go. It’s not me who absorbs the information. And, it’s not you who get’s to decide.

PS: I do like to absorb my learnings, and keep them to myself. Everyone does that, right?

The simple will to grow

I visited my previous article, All eyes on me, to check out what’s going on with the blog. I read it some time ago. And, here’s what I think: I’ve lost the touch, it seems. And, I don’t really like the way I have structured the whole article either. When I fail to make out what I’m saying, I feel embarrassed. And, it does seem like I’ve lost the touch of some kind. But, I still know how to write – so I’m not going to claim that I’ve lost the touch of writing. It’s an impossible thing to happen out of the few impossible things to happen in this world.

It’s like swimming. Once you learn how to swim, you are least likely to forget the form next time you’re drowning. This article is my attempt at swimming, somewhere between the lines of deep-diving at nineteen and drowning at twenty-two.

We’ll know what we’ve lost, as a blog. Here’s what we’ll do (I’ll do) to get back on the track:

  1. REMEMBER
  2. REASON
  3. REPEAT

I just came up with three “REs” just like that. Always a fan of such patterns.


First, I’ll try to remember why I started this blog – or the whole journey of creativity in general. Then, I’ll argue my reasons for doing what I did as a writer (self-acclaimed, phew). And, I’ll probably end up luring myself to repeat the habit of writing.

We know we’ll repeat, so why not do it properly, eh?

REMEMBER

As far as I know, before looking at my first article – Start – on this blog, I can tell that I have always wanted to write down my thoughts. Maybe because my mind never runs out of them. I always have thoughts running around from one corner of my mind to the other. To the middle. Upwards. Sideways. Back and forth. And, that’s how I know I’m like you – an entity with a brain, and that too of a human. So cool, right?

Right, so now that I’ve taken a look at the article and I am close, but not nearly in remembering why I started. Here’s what I can make out after reading (skimming through) it:

  • I wanted to share my journey with the world
  • Showcase my photography and grow at it
  • Get better at writing

I can see why I want to do the last two of these three – they seem (but, are not) physical as reasons to start a blog. But, why would someone want to share their journey with the world when no-one has ever asked for it. I don’t know.

Hopefully, we can answer that in the reasons to come.

REASON

Fuck it, I love writing and that’s enough of a reason for me. Onto the next one.

REPEAT

It’s pretty clear that my previous way of doing things around the blog have worked their potential in building what’s currently the status of this blog. I might have never imagined a number like 8,000 to be the number of hits on this website. It’s a small number, compared to the other big players, but I’m no player at this game you’re referring to. I do this for me and the few readers (thank you) who come visit my blog now and then.

But, it’s not enough. See there’s this simple will to grow in me. And, I am seeking the help of this blog in getting there. I am not looking to be perfect at life. I’m not stupid enough to expect that out of my journey. But, I want to try and be the imperfect-yet-comfortable-with-his-life kind of human. I don’t want to wake up late and regret rest of the day waking up late. Instead, I’ll build the habit to wake up early. I don’t want to regret not cycling and instead make my own ways of cultivating the good habit. You get the idea right?

I just want to attempt at things that are possible for me to do. I don’t want to be the richest person. But, I want to make sure I don’t face any money problems in my life. And, the only way to do that is to get rich. There’s simply no harm in wanting to get rid of the bad tomato in your life, and replace it with a gem.

NOTE: I read this somewhere, probably on Twitter, and it has stuck with me forever: Money doesn’t solve all your problems. It does solve your money problems.


All I know from what I know is that I am not always uncertain. Who is? What happens when we know all the time? Wait, do you – now – know what I am telling?

Enough of the riddle twister.

Back to here. Why do I write? And, why should I write? Don’t mix the two, they can be as different as the poles – but they’re just really the same at the end of a stick. There’s ice and there is me – drowing away.

The simple will to grow. It never fades or shuts down, right? We all, assuming there’s sanity in this world, grow in their life. Whether you like it or not, you have stopped riding a tricycle. And, so, I too want to grow.

So, I’ll repeat the cycle. Tomorrow, I take birth to the change that is. To the future that lies in darkness, or should I say – a blinding bright star?

The simple will to grow.