FLATTEN THE CURVE: NOT YOUR BELLIES

It is true what they say about people giving their best during hard times. Not everyone does it though. In fact, many fail to give their best when they’re vulnerable to such hard times. This failure, I suppose, comes only due to one reason. And, it’s the lack of support in their journey to make it through. Believe me, everyone tries to make it through. It only makes it easier for them to get out of the pit if they’re given a hand to reach out for. It puts them in comfort. And, such external comfort is not only healthy; it’s vital. Plus, it’s easily found – many just assume it’s the toughest of all to approach for help.

While there are many victims of different kinds, today I want to talk specifically about the ones who are shamed for their body. And, by shamed, I mean, who are told “You fat ugly mutt!” and not “You pumpkin, don’t eat sweets like your life depends on it.” The latter is shaming too, if you are mistaken. The only way to not shame a person is by not shaming the person.

We are living in a world where even calling out your friends by the names of age-old “tease-culture” would be considered body-shaming. I have teased many of my friends on their shape. But, these same persons talked about my shape too. This mutual trust is where both the parties know they’re vulnerable and don’t mean to hurt one another. It is only better if the ones vulnerable share the misery keeping a reminder to not deny the fact that this shaming is not only unhealthy, it is very stupid. I don’t regret having fun with my friends. Because, we friends know that we are having fun. When someone’s hurt, we know then too. And, that’s when anyone can give out a hand and pull them out. It is the victim’s silent call to the one’s shaming them to stop and also to pull them out. Many who shame – retaliate with even more shaming techniques. The few who understand, either help back or they start feeling vulnerable. It is always tricky. But, solvable.

In reality – this confrontation hardly ever happens. Not many who are body-shamed have the courage to speak up. Some even give in to the act and be normal about it. This not only breaks them down, it potentially breaks down much more – the relations and the ability to work. Not confronting your weakness, of all, is the worst you can do when body-shamed. If you can’t tell it to the person directly, tell it to someone else. Anyone will do. Just talk about it with the ones you’re comfortable talking about it. Most of the times, all you need is to talk to yourself first.

I have, in past, shamed a few people on the basis of body-shape. I didn’t know I was body-shaming these people. Fat or thin. Dark or fair. That, is the core of body-shaming: the labels plus not knowing when you shame someone. Would I change the past if I had a chance to do it? Sure. Is that the same as regret? Not really, because I know it’s a problem that can only be solved if you don’t put yourself in the same position as the one where you want to score good for your parents and not yourself. Just start preparing well for the exams. Regretting your exams in the past have never given you the results, have they?

Some hype regarding such problems is inevitable. We see many worrying about the sizes available to shop. Many are just creating problems rather solve them. Such people not only create new problems, they make it hard to solve the existing ones.

Many won’t even realise they’re cutting the mental injury deeper every time they shame someone. Many of us do it, even when we don’t realise – it’s better if you keep the rule simple. No teasing when the person tells you not to. But, better – no teasing at all. It doesn’t work most of the times because our language itself widely has evolved from such shaming. In cases where the person doesn’t tell you and laughs away, we are back at square one – not confronting our weakness. Which, seems to be very close to the core of problems in sync with body-shaming.

This is not meant to motivate anyone being body-shamed. I don’t hold the capacity or even the ability to do so. But, I am aware that the shape of a body is nowhere close to the mind’s well-being. Being active and working with love is much closer. Plus, working out works.

Even when there’s no need to change the way you look, we all need to flatten one kind of curve. To know more about it, check the following page:

I have written about my learning experience using the outbreak as a tool, you can click here to read it. Happy reading!

I heard you want to be happy.

Today, 10th October is Mental Health Day.

While we live our normal routine of attending college, being with friends, living with family or just going to that cubicle work space at the office – we forget to live with ourselves. To learn how to get comfortable with yourself turns out to be the ultimate lesson one can start with if the person cares about the mind.

Today, I am not going to get philosophical or just clean deep with the subject at hand – mental health. Instead, I am going to present you my techniques slash practices which can help you train your mind. These are not always going to work. Yeah, it’s going to be a waste of time. So, let’s start? 

Books(or any set of words)

Whether you are uncomfortable with the world outside or just plain lonely. You can feel better while reading something. It opens up a new world of learning your mind can have. I get to be completely lost in the world set by the words I read. This choice of perceptions before you decide your perspective about anything helps in maintaining that line of comfort between your brain and your mind

            There are a few books I’d like to suggest. But, you sure do know that you are the best person to decide which books to read. 

  • Consciousness Explained by Daniel C Dennett 
  • The Bhagavad Gita by Eknath Easwaran
  • The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison

If you don’t like reading, next one might help you.

Movies

This one is a little biased as I love films. It works for me crazy good. You get to live characters you imagine yourself in – without any consequences in real life. Even if you have consequences of indulging into a movie, you have to appreciate the work of hypnosis here. Bravo, Christopher Nolan.

Just in case you are an alien to good movies, which is never the case. But, still:

  • The 40-Year-Old Virgin, 2005
  • One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, 1975
  • Joker, 2019
  • Taxi Driver, 1976
  • Scent of a Woman, 1992

The list is endless. Hit me up.

Talking to someone

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It need not be a therapist generally, anyone you find comforting will work. But, a therapist is suggested if you really find the need. And, usually you don’t feel the need to talk to a therapist, especially in India as it is considered low-key taboo even now. 

Your friends and or family are a great set of people to talk about your problems. Why? Because you can be sure about not being judged to conclusions. Meaning, you will be judged by anyone you talk to because humans do that. You are judging, right now, these words, right here. Judging something is different from making conclusions. You get it – judgemental thinking is not good. Live a little, will you?

I am not sure if you can rely on Artificial Intelligence for the purpose of talking about your problems. I can see how it can turn out to work. But, I am not sure. 

Music

here. click here.

So, these are my ways to help my mind clear the load off. You can see that these are the most basic things anyone of any age can do legally. Like I said, a waste of time. And, that’s life! Just kidding. Too dark, eh? That’s life! Just kidding. Too real, eh? That’s life. Too much, eh? That’s not life. Whoa, that was something.

I will be talking more about this particular subject because it seems very interesting to me that many of you don’t really know much about mental health. Because, even I don’t. If you just accept the fact that you don’t know much will work extremely fine for you to actually get better with your mind. Just keep it open, that will do the job. That, I know.

I uploaded more pictures on my Instagram. Really enjoying the process of creating something new out of what already exists. Check it out by clicking on the coloured slash first word of this paragraph.

He’s telling the truth.

Batman

You can read my other posts here – blog posts.

Evil Spirits at Ganagapur

Most of the Indian movies that come under the genre of horror, have something to do with the religious beliefs swirling around the plot. I went on a trip to find out why. I didn’t actually go on a hunt for evil spirits, it was a family trip to the temples of North Eastern Karnataka.

The movies not only depict evil spirits, but furthermore explore miracles too. In one of the temples at Sannati – I found out how strong a belief can be. It can change a lot with just a thought. Many people there believed in the holy spirit of Goddess Chandralamba. I saw visions about how they could’ve used the strong belief to make a movement. If only such belief existed in the betterment of humanity, we could change a lot in our lives.

I saw more than a dozen people, laying on the floor, while others carried the idol of the Goddess above them, in a Palika (which is similar to the Ark of Covenant). There was no age restriction to this devotion, even kids with age less than seven were doing it. Some of the old men and women could hardly walk. The kids, did not seem to be forced into doing the usual things done at an Indian temple. They too, were into it like it was more than just a normal deed.

I think I have made it clear about how strongly people believe in holy spirits. They devote themselves to evil spirits, the same as they do otherwise. After staying a day and night in Sannati, my family headed to the place with the real deal – Ganagapur .

IMG_20181110_125538-01Ganagapur

Ganagapur is a village in Kalaburgi district of Karnataka. The population is as low as 10,000. But, the number of visitors to this village is increasing every year. According to the book Sri Guru Charitra, it is a place associated with the God Dattatreya. The book also mentions that the God would bathe at the confluence of Bhima and Amarja rivers.

Many business opportunities are being made use of, near the premises of the temple. Since it is a religious place, I saw many people selling and buying stones, holy-threads, scents and what not.

People visting the temple at Ganagapur believe that by offering prayers, fruits and other commodities to the Lord – they can get rid of the evil spirits in their life. I wanted to know more about this particular concept, this belief. So, I visited the temple and saw pictures of men and women actually suffering from something. That something, is what I am unsure of. I couldn’t find an answer. But, even the website of the temple states that there is a high possibility of the act being a result of a mental illness.

Since it has a lot to do with the topic of mental health, I wanted to know more about it. I made a video of the affected, to show it to my therapist. But, a volunteer at the temple made me delete it. It was probably because the authorities at the temple wouldn’t want any new attention to the happenings at the same place.

The real question, is not if we should believe in Evil Spirits or even the good ones. It is about how people can be strongly misunderstanding the situation of ambiguity. The confusion about it being a serious mental illness, should be considered by the concerned.

In short, it was trip with lot of questions popping up on the beliefs. I am still not sure about what to believe in. But, I am sure that a strong belief like this can make great changes and create a movement.

I have shared below – other photographs from this trip. I will be writing more on the topic of beliefs in the near future. Tell me if it would interest you.

IMG_20181110_182604_BURST1-01Wadi Junction

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Shri-Chakra next to the idol of Goddess Chandralamba

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A dry field in Sannati

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River Bhima

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Wadi Junction

I have decided to share with you – my favourite piece of art, every week, of any form. Consider it to be very good, and I am hoping you’ll like it. This week’s Favourite: It Isn’t True – Sid Sriram. As always, thank you for reading. Keep reading!