The simple will to grow

I visited my previous article, All eyes on me, to check out what’s going on with the blog. I read it some time ago. And, here’s what I think: I’ve lost the touch, it seems. And, I don’t really like the way I have structured the whole article either. When I fail to make out what I’m saying, I feel embarrassed. And, it does seem like I’ve lost the touch of some kind. But, I still know how to write – so I’m not going to claim that I’ve lost the touch of writing. It’s an impossible thing to happen out of the few impossible things to happen in this world.

It’s like swimming. Once you learn how to swim, you are least likely to forget the form next time you’re drowning. This article is my attempt at swimming, somewhere between the lines of deep-diving at nineteen and drowning at twenty-two.

We’ll know what we’ve lost, as a blog. Here’s what we’ll do (I’ll do) to get back on the track:

  1. REMEMBER
  2. REASON
  3. REPEAT

I just came up with three “REs” just like that. Always a fan of such patterns.


First, I’ll try to remember why I started this blog – or the whole journey of creativity in general. Then, I’ll argue my reasons for doing what I did as a writer (self-acclaimed, phew). And, I’ll probably end up luring myself to repeat the habit of writing.

We know we’ll repeat, so why not do it properly, eh?

REMEMBER

As far as I know, before looking at my first article – Start – on this blog, I can tell that I have always wanted to write down my thoughts. Maybe because my mind never runs out of them. I always have thoughts running around from one corner of my mind to the other. To the middle. Upwards. Sideways. Back and forth. And, that’s how I know I’m like you – an entity with a brain, and that too of a human. So cool, right?

Right, so now that I’ve taken a look at the article and I am close, but not nearly in remembering why I started. Here’s what I can make out after reading (skimming through) it:

  • I wanted to share my journey with the world
  • Showcase my photography and grow at it
  • Get better at writing

I can see why I want to do the last two of these three – they seem (but, are not) physical as reasons to start a blog. But, why would someone want to share their journey with the world when no-one has ever asked for it. I don’t know.

Hopefully, we can answer that in the reasons to come.

REASON

Fuck it, I love writing and that’s enough of a reason for me. Onto the next one.

REPEAT

It’s pretty clear that my previous way of doing things around the blog have worked their potential in building what’s currently the status of this blog. I might have never imagined a number like 8,000 to be the number of hits on this website. It’s a small number, compared to the other big players, but I’m no player at this game you’re referring to. I do this for me and the few readers (thank you) who come visit my blog now and then.

But, it’s not enough. See there’s this simple will to grow in me. And, I am seeking the help of this blog in getting there. I am not looking to be perfect at life. I’m not stupid enough to expect that out of my journey. But, I want to try and be the imperfect-yet-comfortable-with-his-life kind of human. I don’t want to wake up late and regret rest of the day waking up late. Instead, I’ll build the habit to wake up early. I don’t want to regret not cycling and instead make my own ways of cultivating the good habit. You get the idea right?

I just want to attempt at things that are possible for me to do. I don’t want to be the richest person. But, I want to make sure I don’t face any money problems in my life. And, the only way to do that is to get rich. There’s simply no harm in wanting to get rid of the bad tomato in your life, and replace it with a gem.

NOTE: I read this somewhere, probably on Twitter, and it has stuck with me forever: Money doesn’t solve all your problems. It does solve your money problems.


All I know from what I know is that I am not always uncertain. Who is? What happens when we know all the time? Wait, do you – now – know what I am telling?

Enough of the riddle twister.

Back to here. Why do I write? And, why should I write? Don’t mix the two, they can be as different as the poles – but they’re just really the same at the end of a stick. There’s ice and there is me – drowing away.

The simple will to grow. It never fades or shuts down, right? We all, assuming there’s sanity in this world, grow in their life. Whether you like it or not, you have stopped riding a tricycle. And, so, I too want to grow.

So, I’ll repeat the cycle. Tomorrow, I take birth to the change that is. To the future that lies in darkness, or should I say – a blinding bright star?

The simple will to grow.

Notes to the one who has entered 20s

Dear Shreyas,

Here are a few tips from yourself learning from the amazing life so far. Even when you are self-obsessed, you are made to believe in the notions of the millennia. In which, you might just turn out to be a narcissist. Apart from wanting your work to define you, it is always safe to trust in the generation’s hardships offered.

If it means to be old-school, it is always better than duplicating the generation’s deeds. Creating. Because doing that means you might just not be of the future-cool or even the “old-school.”

It means to be of now.

Slowing down helps you

Most of the times, your actions have been better when done with time. You take time to realise. It is this abundant time you feel as your companion in any hard-period. A chigga outbreak, or an year of depressing thoughts. It is time and light that will guide you.

Spontaneity too has given you joy incomparable.

Living now

As Buddha’s lessons have taught you, living now is the ultimate achievement you seek for in a moment. Believe whatever you want to, but let it be now that you believe in. Wondering if tomorrow you’ll have a job or why you didn’t have one yesterday – has got you nowhere. When you did stop doing it, you have written nearly 14,000 words on a blog. You had offers and chances to make money you never wished for. You cleared 17 backlogs in a year. Remember, passing 20 subjects is different from clearing one subject. And, you did it.

You traveled to the mountains and the sea. And this guy has already given you the medal. You lost it. But, you still have to reach the highest mountains, swim with the currents and live with the trees.

Your life’s quality is independent

Of money. Of time. Of space. And, of anyone.

You are not writing screenplays. You are reading more often. Blah. You love the skies with your family. You rock smiles with your friends. Blah.

Your writing is just about good. You love visuals. You do good photography. Blah. You want to make films. I can’t write notes at a stretch about fMRI (GitHub plug) let alone you. Back to fMRI. Blah. You are doing fine with the works of all kind that you dream of. And, time has never been enough. But, you hope for the dreams as always.

You are awesome.