Dear Reader

How are you?

I just wanted to sit down and put this on the blog. I have lots to say, and yet I don’t know which messages to pick. I’ll just keep on writing and everything will fall into place. Because, that’s what I know as a solution to everything. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am right. I know it heals me. I know it nurtures my growth. I know it’s my home.

So, how are you? I hope you’re answering me.

I know I have written many times about how this blog is changing and why. But, this time it’s different. Like all the times, to be honest. This time I just bought my space on the internet – this domain.

http://www.byshreyas.com

I always like to see myself as a creator of art. I don’t know how to be humble on this subject. And, this blog is my creation. My everything, as an answer to what I can create. So, I will only hope to give it my all. There are no spots for negligence when it comes to creating something. You have to give it your whole heart. You have to be so in love with what you create, that you’d find it hard to live without creating it. Passion, only matters to me.

And, this blog is in a way my method of life. This is what gave me a purpose when I had nothing. Or, when I felt like I had nothing in my life. It presented me a chance. Seeing people respond to my words, like what I do and most importantly making me heard, only made me live. Building a sense of community drives me. This blog saved me from what I never saw as something that needed saving.

I want to make people feel at home with my words. Let them choose the stories they want to be a part of. The internet is weirdly capable of creating connections that once seemed impossible. I want to put it to the right use.

What to expect from this blog?

I have given way too much of my time thinking of what this blog’s theme should be. I never realised that I had already faced the answer when I first started this blog. Photos.

I started out to put up the photos that I click and write about them. I believe every photograph has endless stories to tell. So, I am falling back to my roots this time. I am sticking to what feels home. Having loved photography since I can’t remember when, and my passion for writing will be the core of this blog. This will help me in perfecting my image-making skills, my story-telling and most of all – it will help me find that audience I have always been looking for. I hope so.

How often will I post?

I don’t want to make any promises to me or the internet. All I know is I’ll not leave a chance untaken for me to put something on the blog. I click pictures very often, and hopefully it will keep me hooked to the act of posting here.

End notes.

That’s all I wanted to say. It feels good to be back online and talking to my followers. Hopefully we get to create our family out of photos and stories. Please let me know, what are your thoughts on this shift.

I hope you find what you’re looking for.

Blur

Meaning: something vaguely or indistinctly perceived

Yesterday, while I was trying to sleep (which happens a lot these days, without any clear reason) – I was contemplating, or doing something of that sort. As I was thinking, it became very clear to me that this life (right now) is not very clear to me. I don’t know what I’m doing for the most part of my life – although, I know that I’m tending to sleep more during the day, find random tasks from my internship to do, learn data structures, read my current book – and yet, I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.

This is because of my past. It haunts me every night. All the mistakes I have done so far and how regretting them is an on-going part of my life. Good to know that it’s normal for humans to commit mistakes, otherwise, I don’t know how we’d survive at all. The solutions to these regrets, however, are a blurry set of images that never seem to reveal what they truly mean.

Say, for example, if meditation is one of the solutions. I know that meditation will bring me a happier life. But, what if I don’t know what to expect from a happier life? Maybe I am just overthinking right now, but don’t you ever feel like an imperfect piece in this puzzle called life? Tell me, do you?

I end these thoughts with a blurry dream – which brings me sleep. And, all I care about – as you could guess – is a good night’s sleep.

Absorb

Today, I have taken inspiration from one of the writers I know. He’s a professor at the university I study at. It is still taking some time to adjust to being a worker and a student at the same time, now that I’m an intern – I know that my college life will be missed, but not really. If you were to ask me “Would you swap your college with work?” I’d take some time and say “I don’t know” because I couldn’t care less. I love working and I love learning.

So, what’s the inspiration?

To take up the A-Z challenge. Yes, taking a letter and a word on it – to write. And, for the first day and the first letter ‘A’, I have chosen the word ‘absorb’. Why? It was better than the other words generated on this website (internet really does have a lot of tools) for worse or better.

Let’s begin, and see where this challenge takes us.


Absorb

absorb/əbˈzɔːb,əbˈsɔːb/ verb: take in or soak up (energy or a liquid or other substance) by chemical or physical action.”buildings can be designed to absorb and retain heat”

This world is a funny place that puts up a show of horror now and then. And, it’s a show indeed that we all have to take in. I found this observation closely due to the practice of meditation I’ve been following. All you do is sit there and take in all (or nothing) without attaching any kind of judgement to it. There really is no need to judge yourself for taking that extra piece of pizza while you’re on diet. You wanted it, and you had it. That’s it. You’ll know what to do next time. And, if you don’t – well – keep trying, right?

So, what do you absorb from this world?

That’s a question so hard to ask and even answer that I’ll try giving it a shot. Here’s what comes to my mind when I think about what I absorb from this world. There’s just too much around me to cope up with. So, I end absorbing nearly nothing useful or even close to being some sort of potion. And, here’s why it’s a tough one. Given the age of internet, the age of information – there is literally countless quantity of knowledge to fathom and let alone absorb.

What if even today the only source of knowledge were books? That’d be a cool thing perhaps if you like to complaint about what the future beholds. It’d be easier to only take in what we can handle. We’d only read what we like unlike now where everything is just shoved right up to your face on the internet. Like this blog.

So, here’s what I absorb – nothing. And by nothing, I mean nothing. I’ll let the stars and my flow decide what to absorb and let go. It’s not me who absorbs the information. And, it’s not you who get’s to decide.

PS: I do like to absorb my learnings, and keep them to myself. Everyone does that, right?

Poems

It’s taken me all of my time spending time doing nothing to realise I miss writing. I miss writing. It is like taking away the life support of someone in coma. Where coma is me being in a state of limbo deciding what to do to take care of boredom, and the life support being my habit of writing.

So, I have started writing again. It gives me the power to be myself and keep my readers interested about the stories I tell. What stories do I tell? Actually, I might never know when writing can only be a door to the world of knowledge. We’ll know, but we’ll also be aware of the story happening in the moment.

Does this make sense?

I don’t care if it makes any sense. Why does everything have to mean something? My fingers dance on the keyboard and I let the music be my words. Woman, I just love writing. Writing gives me the relief I have potentially never come across in life. I put my thoughts down here for the world to wonder and myself to mull over.

What makes sense if not this?

I sometimes think I am not honest when I write to you, my readers. A bunch, actually. To think about it, my thoughts are far beyond the numbers I can count for a moment. But, the ones to read them are only a handful. I get decent amount of readers to all of my posts. We are a tiny family now with nearly two hundred followers and only a fifty reading actively.

Sometimes seventeen people make sense together.

To this, I am grateful. To you, I owe my all. I don’t know how to thank using my words to you who read me. Who try to understand me. Who take time to waste their time on my words. But, friend, words are all I have. So, please take these from my side.

Words are all it might take.

Asshrey ’21