Me

I don’t like hating people. Here’s the thing, I generally don’t hate. But, when I do, it feels like my motive is absolutely right. And, that is something I have to deal with in a way I don’t understand.

Says a note signed “Me” on the canteen’s refrigerator.

This person mostly loves someone who is good to be ignored, if not hated. At college canteen, such notes are rare to find. The person writing them usually makes sure we know who wrote it and why.

That’s precisely why people stopped taking them seriously. Much like Facebook, but in real. I look around, eating my pie, and there she is, crying alone with her burger.

I don’t know why, but it felt like she was the one who wrote it. I did not want to judge a personality so real that she is crying in the crowd.

I walk up to her. Offer the remaining of what’s left on my plate. She does not respond. Gets up and walks away. Maybe she thinks I am the one who judged her for being real.

But, it’s not me.

Writing about Love

First of all, it is surprising among Indians to see an engineer do anything other than engineering let alone writing. And, Indians see writers either as intellects or the hard hit love song boys. It is extreme, either ways. That spectrum somehow seems so normal even across the world. Maybe it is true.

I find many venting out about their love failure, which they should, than about their work or families. Which also, they should. I too have written about my failed adventures with loving a person and to this date don’t find a reason why it should be public. Also, all kinds of audience regularly come across such articles. It has, interestingly, become a subject of regular talk over the internet.

You might hate it or be a part of it.

One aspect I like is the fact that many can talk about it now. Talking about your problems is a very good way to solve them and even realise the matters you have no control on. Writing is a form of talking.

Some want to do it in the public, and some behind the windows. But, all want to do it and only a few do.

New Person, Same Old Mistakes

In the age of change being so rapid and constantly inevitable, we are bound to face the unexpected. Sooner or later, everyone has to be ready for what we might not be prepared. The current pandemic is one such great example for things unexpected. But, the examples we need to be looking at right now are not the unexpected. That is already happening. There are examples of people challenging this change on their own terms and living like it barely causes any devastating effects on their life. I am trying to be them by keeping up with my work on blog and the assignments at college. The latter seems to bring disinterest at first, but clearly takes off once I start doing it.

Keeping myself close to work makes me realise of the things I have never come across. I still don’t know how to deal with syllables. I don’t know the spelling of words like syllables. Randomly pick one from college, I don’t know how Computer Vision works. But, these realizations are only because I know a few things at first. Otherwise, why would anyone want to learn at all?

It gets tiring and even tedious to keep writing daily on the blog. I had stupidly dreamy goals of doing it before lock-down. It is only safe to say that without this lock-down, I could have been easily distracted. Only because of lock-down, I am able to try new things on a daily basis. And, stick to a few of them. I wish to stick to the lessons learnt during the lock-down.

Looking back at these “new” endeavors of mine, I have done these many times before. And, only trying seems to be the ultimate meaning any endeavor might have.

The world keeps changing, and the universe seems to justify the changes.