It has been a calculable time since I did this and yet it feels the same. I sit down at my chair in a room (mostly) done by me. Then, I set up my space pushing away the books, papers, pens, wrappers, even bananas and empty glasses of water on my desk so that I can write. I put on the music, preferably anything which does not have any obvious meaning to it. Meaning, no words of a language I already know or even better – no words at all. You see I like music in the way it leaves me with infinite stories. All of these possibilities concur at a single point of belief where meaning need not exist. This arrangement of a sea of chances on a single piece of hope is very much like our planet. The one we all are destroying.

Welcome to the progressive growth this blog is bound to be a part of. Now, I write.


I have received many messages in my life. And not just on WhatsApp, but even in the form of letters, mails and human voices. In all of these messages, there is a common point of understanding. These messages could be different and even irrelevant to each other. Yet, they all look the same when I see them just as what they are. Before you dig any deeper and misunderstand what I might have meant, please pause. Because, what I mean by messages is not the conclusion of them being a formulaic sense of communication, or the communication itself but the literal meaning of them being ultimately just a message. A set of letters or an arrangement of these sets at the best. You might think of it (plainly) as a poorly exciting way of looking at life in general. I differ, because I am sure that stories get much more exciting after they are received with no former understanding before. It is always a better option for me to not have such former understandings at all in the first place to come what may. They ruin many elements which matter to the experience I am having or might have later. And, it is by experience I hold such views.

I prefer to journal matters of my life either after they are done being experienced or well before they begin. A few don’t begin while some never stop being. This sole conundrum allows me to maintain a dumber violation of my choices just in case I do journal any of it while it happens.


Precisely speaking, there’s very little to add in the bucket of changes my life has had since the last time I wrote on this blog. Not to forget, it still is a calculable time. I still attend college, waste a lot of money, spend humanitarian times with fellow humans and try to do something creative every day. The last thing I do in the sentence before this one, is the only part that can be said to have changes in the way I do it constantly.


Time and again, it is the creative aspect of my life where I see evidence. Evidence for it to work every single time. I make an edit, it works. I write a program, it works most of the times. I make a video, it works. I make anything, it potentially has already worked itself out before it even exists. That’s the comforting part of creativity to me. Ever since I got the taste of it’s outcomes in a palpable way. I know that inventive thinking gets me to the places of peace and harmony. It brings in a kind of relief only I’d know how to put into words. A few of the times that I try to express this relief, I don’t regularly have the form of language to put forth my understanding. Usually during such times, rarely do I have the wishes to even voice the courteous experience I might have had.

I believe it is not in the list of right choices to see creativity as one entity. Or, as an entity at all. It does not have a defined meaning which remains the same throughout. Painting a portrait of Mona Lisa, I believe, is just as much creative as joining two points on a paper. It is our humane pity little mind that would consider such comparison as an insult towards the painter. The painter mostly knows that this human came up with only one way to join the two points. A straight line. Hardly, this human might have thought of two ways while he or she was busy building up the hate towards such comparison. When triggered of this fault in the human, the human ceases to be.


It simply can’t begin anywhere for it has no certain form of existence. Creativity is not modest enough to fall for the notions defined by a modest being, the human. It can’t simply “be” to me. Progressively, it is moving in every direction imaginable.


When I tripped to Marasanige, a village with hardly more than ten houses to count, I happened to be closer with this planet. I have always been close to it. I faced this nature of the planet where observing every move it makes from within, connects the observer instantly. Because, we are a part of this planet unlike the famous notions where the planet belongs to us. It may be true that Earth does not depend on us entirely to exist, but since it does not have a language direct enough to tell us how badly we are treating it – it burns at a speed unimaginable. It will exist, but we won’t be here when the time to survive reaches our doors.


The problem with solving climate-change, as beautifully explained by Anthony Leiserowitz, is it’s invisibility. For example, we can’t see the damage being done to the climate when on the road. If the gas coming out of every vehicle was presented in a more visual form, we would have dealt with this problem a long time ago. Moreover, we feel like it is a distant problem which the future generations will face. It might be true but it’s not. Looking at earth’s timeline, it ages nearly 4.5 billion years. Does 2100 seem as something distant from 2020 when we know that it is more than billions of years after the earth was born. I think our planet won’t even have to worry about humans. It will remain. I have realized that the concern in reality is subjective to “save the planet for us” rather than the famous perception of climate-change being just “save the planet”.

It is a very tricky problem indeed. Feeling guilty about the damage we’ve done to our planet won’t bring us the solutions. And, so does not being scared of what is to come. We will solve it, looking at the history for most of the problems faced by humanity – it is better to remain optimistic. Even if this optimism is highly polarized, it might just work.


I am excited to do more for this blog. Also, I have a lot more in store to work on. Publishing all of these works over the internet will take their own time. In the mean time, I will be working on one article every month from here on. A single post for the whole month will make it worth the wait plus the content, I believe. For this to work progressively, I will need your support in keeping this blog a busy place even when I am not here. You can make this happen by making your loved ones read my blog. Thank you!

Comment what you think about mangoes.

Water: My Moving Constant

I’ll take my debts to Ganga.

I feel very connected to everything, and I love that about me. Even you should. It helps me stay unattached, in strange ways. All the while, it somehow works for me.

as seen by shamant

Thinking deeply about something, and the next moment knowing that the thought was for that moment. Let’s always keep it that way. If I attach it to something other than the moment itself, it becomes a nasty problem. The one where I feel like the very good pillars on which that moment stood are now being pissed on by relations, time, and other feelings. It is now an attachment to the feeling I had that moment. If it makes any sense, live now and only for now. I know you have heard many people say “don’t think about the past, or the future too much” and they could not have been more correct about this one suggestion.

Attachment, as written in my mom’s bio on WhatsApp, is the root of suffering.

ah, august! just after my trip to ashwem and beyond

To me, all of what I said above, is somehow related to water. Water, to me, is essential. Oh, such discoveries while I write, makes me laugh. Is water really that essential to you, a metabolic mechanism, Shreyas?

Anyhow, be it any bad feeling, I resort back to taking control of my breath. In, out. And, end up drinking water. It works. This might sound stupid at first. But, discovering more about what water means to me might make us, for the lack of a better word, enlightened.


As I look at it, all that is to make sense to me ends up being a pattern of randomness, and thus making sense to me. How do I say it?

I can’t, and it will be my ultimate goal to put out this very non-sensical idea in my films. And, one day a film made by me will make it a notion believable by anyone who sees it. When he or she does, I also hope it comes to them with the only meaning of not having one. Similar to this notion, water, as in rivers – keeps flowing, but there is this sense of unchanging behaviour of the very drops this river carries. It itself is the drop, and the river.

akksye watching waves

It feels very good to be at fear of the river changing it’s flow. This fear is very similar to my other fears in life. And, as I watch the flow still being there, maybe at a different speed, I can still see and sense this wide range of possible ways to get me out of this fear. I can work on my problems, and treat them if they can be treated. If they can’t be treated, we can at least get comfortable with this gyp. It’s there, we know that. And, if there’s nothing we can do about it – we know that we’re wrong. We can definitely do something about it, but just not now.

As Dr. Anand Pandurangi puts it very finely into words:

Sometimes, time is a very good aid for healing”

These complications make it hard for one to put all notions under one roof. One certain meaning, a uniform understanding about all of this may not be achieved. Again, this gyp is so much of a discomfort than a cheat on your instincts.

We’ll let this wave hit us, and we’ll flow.

the beyond