I feel numb, angry and helpless

News about George Floyd makes me feel a rush of emotions I find hard to explain. Much like the way it is hard to explain the feeling when everything in life seems to be fine.

About George, it is opposite to being content about life. About humanity.

Similar kind of brutality was seen in Delhi too, a few months back.

I realise that I should be doing something about such heinous acts done by someone we think is here to protect us from the same. Yet, I fail but write in fear of being a human.


George Floyd, you were a great man. You didn’t have to die this way. No one should have to face what you did. Not even the impotent pseudo white saviour of law who killed you. I don’t know what these words mean to you anymore, but try to forgive humanity. And, don’t forgive humanity if that is what’s right.

In a way, you have set the motion for a better society. And, what is better? Yes, we humans will always fail to understand. Fail to do. Fail to live. Fail to be.

Together we lie, Divided we cry

To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of trouble

~ Hamlet

Let’s be clear, there’s no clarity of the humble life we are given. One day, I wonder. The next day, I wonder why. And another day, I simply know and know not to ask why. Most of what I see or listen to has become out of my control. Which is the best of all the knowledge I can have. Not everything is in control of one single entity. If God ever was the person to control, let it be so for even it would not be in my hands.

When we know of such less control over a few, why would we fight for it? Why would one want to rule a country? Why would one vote for a king? Stupidity comes with intelligence. And, any genius will not agree to the notions set by self as rules for them not to change. Change is the only constant, as Professor Kunnur would stress about in our chemistry classes.

Only now do I see, for it was then that I wondered asking about the ‘why’ yesterday. We are here facing the problems of the same kind. Yet, we fail to see how the other has already solved it. It is this team, and the only, of humanity ever losing it’s grip day by day. And, as always, I will force myself to believe in it for the love of my world still remains strong.

I know.