Foul soul

Why does no one talk about regret being a good thing? Mostly because it’s the continuation of this feeling from which many of us run away. From our very own faults. I want to be normal for once when I talk about how I’m not a superhuman to this feeling.

I regret a lot from my past.

There’s hardly any bad moment from the past that I wish I had nothing to do with. Else, it’s not a bad moment at all, right? This is not the regular regret particularly as I just wish I was not a ‘part’ of such happenings in life. If the reason for such bad moments seemingly points out to me – then I deplore myself.

It’s a good thing, personally to confront my bad behaviour like that.

Not only confront, but because I am kind to myself I’ve observed to always forgive the cues to get better. That’s only way I know about dealing with remorse itself. Be it the choices, a relationship or the decisions of life – it’s all connected to me remaining independent.

The same independence in choosing to dwell on these subjects could be good, because I mostly get tired and they are solved forever pretty quicker than most around me. It’s an observation I have been seeing frequently, but not so definitively.

Photo by Aidan Roof

Forever having to regret about the past is one point of view and confronting this remorse right at it’s deepest foul is another. I love the latter because honestly I am incapable of lodging myself into the loop of rue. Someone says “I don’t regret anything from my life” and I am bound to believe they’ve dealt with the remorse. It means for me to regret when I know, and I know I should go past it only without denial.

Hence, I’m never guilty of what I do but only a convict in their face already.


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When I won’t be living

The day after I stop living, I wonder if we’ll still be here. We have to be somewhere. Or, is that what we want?

I don’t care about the rumors on death. Only what is dead would know how to even care about it. And, I won’t really be dead. My words will remain here as long as the language seems to make sense. We will find a way to remain eternal.

When I won’t be living, I won’t be dead. I am more than the flesh, the words and just what remains at their end. I am here to remain, to put glory in the eyes of darkness and to sing a song of love to the hateful eight.

Until death, I am living the story. And, when I won’t be living, I want to be the story.

Placebo: The Friendly Drug Monopoly

Written by Shreyas Melbuddhi

This is the first article in “The Scranton Report” where one post is added to the series every month. These articles are written over a period of time and a lot of fun-filled work goes into making these happen. Let’s go!


The word placebo comes from Latin, like most of English I know. It’s literal meaning (in Latin) is on the terms of “I shall please.” Used in the 21st Century with the context being a little far from the original notions, but much closer. It is no longer restricted on the basis of “pleasing.” On the sweet ambiguous contrary, it is more about pleasing yourself in a way. You might have heard about the placebo effect if you are familiar with medicine. The medical industry, as I am observing while working on this article, has evolved itself to a new state. From being an institution of help to an industry saving lives. I always heard about the cruel business. When you visit a hospital, it mostly becomes the word of talk to point out the faults in the system.

And, the placebo effect explores this kind of evolution very closely.

Photo by Anna Shvets

Strong believers of medicine are helping do this with amusing results, repeatedly. They are rerouting the path it has set for itself on the same grounds it had been growing from the start.

I wanted to learn about the placebo effect to know how influential our mind is in the way we all function. And also, the fact that one of my friend uses it on the same basis of foul language in our city. We use a lot of foul language, without the least kind of regret in Hubballi. Duck, now.

I might have understood how influential the mind is, but there’s another important pattern to observe here on the study of placebo. The many useless operations on a body are being discovered with the help of experiments based on this very effect. We now know many steps in a medical operation proven, or hopefully proven, to be less effective on the whole process when done as an “act.” The pattern of commercialization is inevitable for this article to be whole to me. So, the business had to be addressed.

What is this act? Are doctors even theater artists to do it? Why do they do it? The mission is to get answers, Captain.

Press “2” to continue. You’ll find it somewhere below.

Notes to the one who has entered 20s

Dear Shreyas,

Here are a few tips from yourself learning from the amazing life so far. Even when you are self-obsessed, you are made to believe in the notions of the millennia. In which, you might just turn out to be a narcissist. Apart from wanting your work to define you, it is always safe to trust in the generation’s hardships offered.

If it means to be old-school, it is always better than duplicating the generation’s deeds. Creating. Because doing that means you might just not be of the future-cool or even the “old-school.”

It means to be of now.

Slowing down helps you

Most of the times, your actions have been better when done with time. You take time to realise. It is this abundant time you feel as your companion in any hard-period. A chigga outbreak, or an year of depressing thoughts. It is time and light that will guide you.

Spontaneity too has given you joy incomparable.

Living now

As Buddha’s lessons have taught you, living now is the ultimate achievement you seek for in a moment. Believe whatever you want to, but let it be now that you believe in. Wondering if tomorrow you’ll have a job or why you didn’t have one yesterday – has got you nowhere. When you did stop doing it, you have written nearly 14,000 words on a blog. You had offers and chances to make money you never wished for. You cleared 17 backlogs in a year. Remember, passing 20 subjects is different from clearing one subject. And, you did it.

You traveled to the mountains and the sea. And this guy has already given you the medal. You lost it. But, you still have to reach the highest mountains, swim with the currents and live with the trees.

Your life’s quality is independent

Of money. Of time. Of space. And, of anyone.

You are not writing screenplays. You are reading more often. Blah. You love the skies with your family. You rock smiles with your friends. Blah.

Your writing is just about good. You love visuals. You do good photography. Blah. You want to make films. I can’t write notes at a stretch about fMRI (GitHub plug) let alone you. Back to fMRI. Blah. You are doing fine with the works of all kind that you dream of. And, time has never been enough. But, you hope for the dreams as always.

You are awesome.