Dear Reader

How are you?

I just wanted to sit down and put this on the blog. I have lots to say, and yet I don’t know which messages to pick. I’ll just keep on writing and everything will fall into place. Because, that’s what I know as a solution to everything. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am right. I know it heals me. I know it nurtures my growth. I know it’s my home.

So, how are you? I hope you’re answering me.

I know I have written many times about how this blog is changing and why. But, this time it’s different. Like all the times, to be honest. This time I just bought my space on the internet – this domain.

http://www.byshreyas.com

I always like to see myself as a creator of art. I don’t know how to be humble on this subject. And, this blog is my creation. My everything, as an answer to what I can create. So, I will only hope to give it my all. There are no spots for negligence when it comes to creating something. You have to give it your whole heart. You have to be so in love with what you create, that you’d find it hard to live without creating it. Passion, only matters to me.

And, this blog is in a way my method of life. This is what gave me a purpose when I had nothing. Or, when I felt like I had nothing in my life. It presented me a chance. Seeing people respond to my words, like what I do and most importantly making me heard, only made me live. Building a sense of community drives me. This blog saved me from what I never saw as something that needed saving.

I want to make people feel at home with my words. Let them choose the stories they want to be a part of. The internet is weirdly capable of creating connections that once seemed impossible. I want to put it to the right use.

What to expect from this blog?

I have given way too much of my time thinking of what this blog’s theme should be. I never realised that I had already faced the answer when I first started this blog. Photos.

I started out to put up the photos that I click and write about them. I believe every photograph has endless stories to tell. So, I am falling back to my roots this time. I am sticking to what feels home. Having loved photography since I can’t remember when, and my passion for writing will be the core of this blog. This will help me in perfecting my image-making skills, my story-telling and most of all – it will help me find that audience I have always been looking for. I hope so.

How often will I post?

I don’t want to make any promises to me or the internet. All I know is I’ll not leave a chance untaken for me to put something on the blog. I click pictures very often, and hopefully it will keep me hooked to the act of posting here.

End notes.

That’s all I wanted to say. It feels good to be back online and talking to my followers. Hopefully we get to create our family out of photos and stories. Please let me know, what are your thoughts on this shift.

I hope you find what you’re looking for.

Bye, for now

This time it’s hard for me to continue blogging for the next half of the year. It’s the beginning of my final year at college and especially the time meant for my preparation to get a job. I want to do it.

I have to better my skills, start applying for jobs, attend interviews, and basically reduce work in total for those tasks to seem easier and fun. If this was 2017, I would have given up college to write but I have observed otherwise. Writing is not something I do as an excuse to anything. So, it’s a part of something bigger than just being a reason to give up what is already a part of my life. I write because I don’t have any kind of attachment to this process whatsoever. I love creating so much that this is my 111th day in a row posting on this website. Something I didn’t really plan out for the blog. And, I feel more comfortable with writing than ever before. Creating just won’t stop be whatever my decision with it. This makes me know for sure that I can do it (writing) given any time and situation because of having no attachment.

That’s the beauty of writing, I don’t have to give up anything else to do it. It’s independent of all other entities unlike preparing for interviews. But, in someways I have learnt how the corporate world too has a lot to do with the love for your work. I really want to get better at coding. I want to see why it’s possible to have both writing and programming influencing my life as if neither had a choice. It’s not really helpful to say that one is out of the question because of the other.

What if it’s a bad idea to stop writing?

I’m aware of this problem. And, I’m pretty sure it’s a bad idea to stop doing something you love. So, here’s what I have planned for the situation – I’ll completely stop posting content online, because it’s the idea of having to produce content that might end up being counter-productive to my preparation. This means not publishing articles, no poems and no artwork either.

I won’t stop writing. This is very much essential to my process of getting better at writing and even programming too. As I’ve read in Ikigai, it’s suggestive to keep your skills outstretched because it gives the sense of flexibility to whatever I do. It helps me enjoy doing whatever I want to work with. This means my mind needs to float when I expect my brain to work highly active. So, it only makes sense to keep continuing the art of writing as I’ve seen it only make my life better and in no ways counter-productive. It actually helps me get better work done.

Quality > Quantity

Not gonna lie, I’m still sceptical of this step. And, it’s only going to be a good idea if I have fun while I prepare for the interviews. That is exactly why I’m discontinuing the blog for few months. My old posts will be here forever, and knowing this fact really makes my doubts fade away. The heart of this blog (stories, perspectives, artwork and more) will still be here and I’ll still be reading from other creators. Nothing is changing except for the fact that I’ll not be producing content for the blog. Some time off to relax, that’s it.

I have a billion (I counted) more stories to tell. Keep reading, keep looking!

Evening

Sink me into the grim clouds,
This void feels much filled
But, I don’t hate this damp

Hours to dream of summer

This void feels much filled,
Only takes me seconds to dream

At the closure of today,
I see no results to ear
Only to see there is delay,
To most of what I fear

Sink me into the grim,
So for once I don’t feel
So for once I don’t care
So for once I don’t scare

This void feels much unreal,
Only in my vision is where I see hope
Only in your smile is where I ear
But, in every dear word of mine
I do go past this fear

Look at Fertile

Foul soul

Why does no one talk about regret being a good thing? Mostly because it’s the continuation of this feeling from which many of us run away. From our very own faults. I want to be normal for once when I talk about how I’m not a superhuman to this feeling.

I regret a lot from my past.

There’s hardly any bad moment from the past that I wish I had nothing to do with. Else, it’s not a bad moment at all, right? This is not the regular regret particularly as I just wish I was not a ‘part’ of such happenings in life. If the reason for such bad moments seemingly points out to me – then I deplore myself.

It’s a good thing, personally to confront my bad behaviour like that.

Not only confront, but because I am kind to myself I’ve observed to always forgive the cues to get better. That’s only way I know about dealing with remorse itself. Be it the choices, a relationship or the decisions of life – it’s all connected to me remaining independent.

The same independence in choosing to dwell on these subjects could be good, because I mostly get tired and they are solved forever pretty quicker than most around me. It’s an observation I have been seeing frequently, but not so definitively.

Photo by Aidan Roof

Forever having to regret about the past is one point of view and confronting this remorse right at it’s deepest foul is another. I love the latter because honestly I am incapable of lodging myself into the loop of rue. Someone says “I don’t regret anything from my life” and I am bound to believe they’ve dealt with the remorse. It means for me to regret when I know, and I know I should go past it only without denial.

Hence, I’m never guilty of what I do but only a convict in their face already.


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